John Mayer: I Didn't Hook Up With Kristin Cavallari!

John Mayer is a dbag who is too obsessed with Twitter and himself.
We have to give him his due as a charitable guy, however, and reluctantly admit that some of his most recent Tweets are maybe a little bit funny.
The crooner took to Twitter to address rumors that he’s been "hooking up with Kristin Cavallari in secret" at the house of a mutual friend.
Here's how Mayer debunked that: “Rumor control: How do I put this like a gentleman... I have never high-fived Kristin Cavallari with my penis.”
That clears it up as well as one could expect. But he continues!
•“I’m sure she’s a wonderful gal but we have never tasted the Skittles Rainbow together.”
•“I have never Bensoned her Hedges, nor have I attempted to Bartle her James.”
•“My Milli has never slam danced with her Vanilli.”
Okay John. That's enough. Go back to writing songs.
credit - The Hollywood Gossip